From the wonderful world of high school.

So a few things.

1. Sorry about the lack of posts. School is lunacy.

2. A story.

I'm at school today, during fourth period, which, praise Jesus, is my planning period. This means that I can go to first or second lunch (oh the choices!), and can meet with students who need help no matter which lunch they have. This said, it's first lunch and, because my room is right next to the Hub, students are milling about outside my door. I know this because I can hear them. All the time. (Note: I am working on collecting proof that students have virtually no settings between "off" and "full speed ahead." I have actually begun referring to them as puppies, largely because of this striking similarity). 

So.... kids milling about outside. A few kids eating lunch in the (relative) quiet of my room. I'm working on something of no consequence (which I tend to do a fair amount of; it turns out that if I can create the illusion of being hard at work students will leave me alone), when (I promise I'm not making this up) a garbage can immediately outside my room EXPLODES. 

It fucking exploded. 

Now, this is interesting without any back story, but the back story makes it funnier. 

On this particular day we had a dual "Earthquake/Fire Drill." This was odd enough. (Is the building going to catch ablaze after it has crumbled? The ENTIRE building is CONCRETE. It will not burn). This means that the Fire Department was there. What idiot kid blows up a garbage can when the Fire Department is there? Unbelievable...

So, moving on. I have no idea (initially) that the explosion was a dry ice bomb. It sounded like a gun. (Which terrified me). And, in light of the recent school shootings in Finland, I was more than a tad freaked out. Now, ask yourself a question: If I heard what might be gun shots, followed by screaming, what would I do? Better question: What would a puppy do? Yup. Investigate. Immediately, as though on cue, a student runs to the door and OPENS IT. 

Pause. Who runs towards the sounds of gun shots? 

Un-Pause. I stare like an idiot as she comes back in and says "the garbage can is smoking." 

Me: Um.... why did you open the door?

Her: I'm a lifeguard. I'm legally required to investigate any situation where somebody might be hurt.

Me: *shakes head* Really? Really? 

Her: *stares like a fish* What?

Me: I don't think you're quite qualified to deal with explosions...

Her: *silence... followed by* It's the law.

Students = Puppies.